Nightmares, again
by mandancie
Summary: After a bad hunt, Sam starts to have nightmares again. Figuring out why is the hard part. Angst!Sam Bigbrother!Dean Please read and take the time to review.


_**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. They belong to Eric Kripke.**_

_**A special thanks to AlElizabeth for beta'ing my story! :)**_

_**A/N: Here is a one-shot that popped in my head and I had to write it down. I really hope you like it! :) Please take the time to review and let me know what you think. :)**_

_**Summary: After a bad hunt Sam starts having nightmares again.**_

_**Nightmares, again**_

_Dean's walking across the street. Sam is right behind him. Sam watches Dean. One second Dean's walking the next he's flying through the air after just being hit by a speeding car._

Sam sits up. He looks down and realize that he's in bed. He looks over at the bed next to him and sees Dean, asleep. He's perfectly fine on his bed. Sam smiles at himself. It was just a dream, Sam thought. He lays back down and sleep claims him again.

_Dean's walking down the street and a desk falls on him. The only thing that is recognizable are his shoes_.

Sam sits up again. This time he's not smiling. Why is he having these dreams about Dean dying?

"Dean," Sam calls out quietly.

He really doesn't want to wake his brother up. Dean doesn't open his eyes, but doesn't totally ignore Sam either. Dean's arm comes out from under the cover. Other than that, Dean does not show anymore signs of movement. Sam lays back down and tries to sleep again.

_Sam sits up. He sees he's not in the same motel room he was in before. He looks over at the bed next to him and he doesn't see Dean. The only thing on the bed is Dean's duffel. Sam made it a point to carry that duffel in every time he had a place to stay. Dean's not here. Dean's not here, is all that is going through Sam's mind. Dean's dead._

Sam sits up again. He looks and sees he is back in the motel room that Dean paid for. He looks over and sees Dean still asleep in the bed next to him. Sam gets up and goes to the bathroom. He looks at himself in the mirror. Tears. Sam sees tears in his eyes. Why is he crying? Dean is not dead. He's less than a foot away from his bed. Why is he having these nightmares? Sam tries to compose himself, splash some water on his face and comes back to bed. Some part of him wants to wake Dean up, but after the argument they had last night he just lets Dean sleep. Sam crawls back into bed and for the fourth time tonight sleep claims him.

Dean may be upset with Sam, but it never changes things when something is wrong with him. Dean knows the symptoms. But won't do anything until Sam comes to him. Sam has woken up three times in the pass two hours. It's been a long time since Sam has had a nightmare. Things Dean does are more from habit than anything. Waking from a deep sleep when he first hears Sam sit up. Moving his arm from underneath the covers when Sam calls his name. Now Dean is fully awake when he hears Sam going into the bathroom. But Dean won't do anything until Sam comes to him, or the nightmares become too much for Sam to handle.

_Sam is stuck on the wall. Dean is on the table. Sam can hear growling. He can see the gashes forming on Deans chest. Then Dean is pulled from the table. Dean is trying to crawl away. More scratches form on his leg to prevent Dean from going anywhere. Then something turns Dean on to his back. Sam hears screaming. Not just his brother screams in pain, but someone else screams. Then he realize that it's his voice. He's screaming for his brother. Pleading. Begging. Wishing that this torment would stop. Nothing is supposed to hurt big brother. But here is big brother being torn to shreds. Then it stops. Dean's not screaming anymore. He's just laying there._

"_Dean," tears choke Sam as he calls out to his brother. "Dean, please answer me. DEAN!"_

"DEAN!" Sam screams. Tears emerging from his closed eyelids.

Dean is up and out of his bed in an instant. He is by Sam.

"Come on, wake up." Dean starts shaking Sam. "Wake up, little brother."

After a few minutes, Sam's eyes open up. Dean looks at his little brother and sees fear and hurt in his eyes. Sam looks up at Dean through his tears. He sits up and wraps his arms around Dean's neck. Dean slowly embraces his brother who is now shaking in his arms.

"It's okay, Sammy," Dean soothes in Sam's ear. "Whatever it is, it's over."

"D'n," Sam chokes out.

"Shh, calm down." Dean said.

Just as fast as Sam got into Dean's arms was just as fast that Sam backed away. Still gripping Dean's night shirt, Sam looks at Dean. One hand feeling Dean's chest where the scratches and lacerations that the hell hound tore him up. Sam doesn't feel anything. Sam lets out a stained sob and lays his head on Dean's shoulder. Dean grips the back of Sam's neck and gently squeezes it.

"It's okay, little brother." Dean soothes. Sam cries on Dean's shoulder, still gripping his shirt.

" 'M sorry D'n," cried Sam.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. You want to tell me what this is all about?"

Sam shook his head on Dean's shoulder.

"Come on, little brother,you're having nightmares. You haven't had them since Jessica." Dean moved Sam back so that he could sit up and Dean could look him in his face. Sam's face was red and tear-stained. Dean knew whatever it was that was bother Sam it wasn't good.

Sam looked at his brother. His tears distorting his view. Then in a quiet voice.

"Why do you keep leaving me? Why do you keep walking away from me?"

Dean was completely dumbfounded.

EARLIER

"Dean, come on."

"Sammy leave it. It's fine."

"Dean you were thrown across the room."

"AND I'M FINE! Dammit Sammy, leave it." Dean walked in the bathroom and slammed the door.

Sam slumped down on his bed, looking at the bathroom door.

"Why do you keep walking away?"

Dean opened the door and looked at his brother. "What?"

"Why do you keep walking away from this? From me?"

"I'm not... Sam..." Dean closed his eyes. He was trying to rein in his temper. "I'm not walking away from you. But I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me."

Sam could see the anger radiating off of Dean. He really didn't want to upset Dean anymore so he didn't say another word. Dean went back in the bathroom and again slammed the door. Sam got up got changed and went to bed.

NOW

"Sammy," Dean said. "I'm not going anywhere."

Sam looked up at Dean. Hurt in his eyes.

"You keep turning away from me. Just like before. I just want to help and you keep turning away from me. I wanted to help before when that hell hound got you and you crawled away from me."

Dean closed his eyes and lowered his head. The last thing he wanted to talk about to his brother was when that hell hound shredded him up in front of Sam.

"Sam, do you even know why I was crawling away from you?"

"The same reason you walk away from me now, you don't want my help."

"Sam stop!" Dean sighed. He got up from Sam's bed and started pacing. He so did not want to have this conversation. He could still hear it. Dean didn't want to relive that again, but for Sammy's sake he would tell him.

"You want to know why I crawled away from you that day." Sam just looked at Dean as he paced back and forth in front of the beds.

"You. You were the reason that I was crawling away." Sam put his head down. "But it wasn't in the way you think."

Dean walked over to his bed and sat down facing Sam.

"Look at me. You were screaming. You were screaming and crying and I didn't want you to see that. That's why I was trying to leave."

Tears pricked the back of Sam's eyes again.

"I couldn't take you screaming. I just wanted to get out of your sight so you would not have to witness that. But they had other plans. I'm sorry, Sammy. I guess old habits die hard. Because now, I just can't take it if you see me hurt. That's why I walk away. I still can hear your screaming. I'm sorry you had to witness that. That was the last thing I ever wanted. But know this; I am not walking away from you. I'm not leaving. I'm not going any where. So can you stop having nightmares about me dying."

Sam couldn't help but smile at that. Sam looked at Dean and nodded still not trusting his voice.

"Good, can we go to sleep now." Dean said getting in his bed.

"G'night D'n." Sam hoarsely said laying down.

" 'Night Sammy." Dean laid down and put his arm out over the cover towards Sam's bed and went back to sleep. Sam saw what Dean did smiled and turned out the light.

**THE END**

**A/N: Thank you for taking the time to read my little story. Please be kind and leave a review and let me know what you think**

**As always; many hugs and kisses to you all! :)**

**Mandancie :)**

_Please check out my Mandancie page on Facebook. _


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